How Many People Should I Bring Wedding Dress Shopping
Being invited wedding dress shopping isn’t really an invitation to share YOUR taste. It’s an invitation to help the bride discover hers.
I know that may seem like a funny way to start a conversation about how many people you should bring to a bridal appointment. But stay with me, because the two have everything to do with each other.
I get asked this question all the time:
HOW MAY PEOPLE SHOULD I BRING WEDDING DRESS SHOPPING?
And again, my answer might surprise you.
IT’S NOT ABOUT THE NUMBER
It’s about WHO YOU BRING
Wedding dress shopping has changed a lot over the years. Before the pandemic, it wasn’t unusual for a bride to walk through our doors with eight, ten, even twelve people. It was an event!
Then the pandemic happened, and suddenly bridal salons everywhere had to dramatically limit the number of guests.
At Formally Yours, for a while, the answer was two.
And you know what?
WE LEARNED SOMETHING.
There was something really special about those smaller appointments. There was less noise, fewer opinions, and more opportunity for the bride to focus on one very important person: HERSELF.
Of course, times have changed again, and brides naturally want to include more of the people they love. We completely understand that. So today, when a bride asks us how many people she should bring, we usually tell her:
BRING YOUR CORE FOUR.
Are we going to panic if you need to bring five? Of course not.
The Core Four isn’t really a rule. In fact, it’s almost the opposite.
IT’S PERMISSION.
Because sometimes a bride has a lot of people who love her. Mom wants to come. sisters want to come. Bridesmaids want to come. Future mother-in-law wants to come. Aunts, cousins, and friends start asking, “Can I come too?”
And before she knows it, the bride is worrying about everybody else’s feelings before she has even walked into the bridal salon.
So if saying, “My bridal salon recommends that I bring my Core Four” gives you a little breathing room blame us.
We can take it lol.
Because four isn’t necessarily the magic number.
You can have five or six wonderfully supportive people in the room and have an incredible appointment. And you can have two people in the room who make the decision much more difficult.
Again, it isn’t really about how many people you bring.
IT’S ABOUT WHO YOU TRUST.
And there’s something else I’ve watched happen over the years when there are a lot of voices in the room.
She walks out in a dress, and instead of looking at herself in the mirror, she starts looking at everybody else.
Why isn’t Mom smiling?
What did my sister mean by that face?
My best friend hasn’t said anything yet.
Does my mother-in-law like it?
And suddenly, instead of figuring out how she feels about the dress, she’s trying to figure out how everyone else feels about it.
That’s when I want to say:
LOOK IN THE MIRROR. HOW DO YOU FEEL?
THIS IS YOUR MOMENT.
I remember one bride in particular who really brought this home for me.
She had already been shopping and had narrowed her choices down to two dresses. She brought her sister back because she trusted her opinion and genuinely wanted her help making that final decision.
That was it. Two dresses. One of these was going to be her wedding dress.
She came out in the first one, and her sister started sharing her thoughts.
“I don’t really like this.”
“I don’t really love that part.”
Then she tried on the second dress, and again, there were things her sister didn’t like.
I could see the bride becoming emotional. She was getting sad and frustrated, and I knew something wasn’t quite connecting between the two of them.
When the bride went back into the dressing room, I quietly said to her sister, “Can I tell you something? She already loves these two dresses. She isn’t asking you which dress you would wear. She wants your help deciding which of these two looks best on HER”
And her sister immediately got it.
She said something like, “Oh my gosh. You’re right. We have completely different taste. I like things much more simple, and she loves detail.”
Exactly
And from that moment on, the whole feeling of the appointment changed.
Her sister wasn’t trying to be negative. She loved her sister! She thought she was helping.
She simply needed to stop looking at the dresses through HER OWN TASTE and start looking at them through the bride’s.
She wasn’t being asked to share her taste.
SHE WAS BEING ASKED TO HELP THE BRIDE DISCOVER HERS.
And I think that’s something all of us can remember when we’re lucky enough to be invited wedding dress shopping with someone we love.
Maybe you love clean, simple gowns, and she loves lace, beading, and drama.
Maybe you would choose sleeves, and she has always dreamed of strapless.
Maybe you would never wear a ball gown in a million years, and she puts one on and absolutely lights up.
THAT’S OK.
You’re not choosing the wedding dress.
YOU’RE HELPING HER CHOOSE HERS
So maybe before we walk into a bridal appointment, all of us, moms, sisters, friends, bridesmaids, and yes, even bridal stylists, can check a little bit of our own personal taste at the door.
Instead of asking:
Would I wear this?
Ask:
Does she look beautiful?
Does she FEEL beautiful?
Does this look like HER?
And most importantly:
IS SHE HAPPY?
Because, after 45 years in bridal, I can tell you something for sure.
When a bride finds the dress that makes HER FEEL BEAUTIFUL, you can see it.
So when you’re deciding who to bring wedding dress shopping, don’t get too caught up in the number.
Bring your Core Four. Bring five if five are truly YOUR PEOPLE. Bring the people you simply can’t imagine having this moment without.
But most importantly, BRING YOUR PEOPLE.
The people who know you.
The people who understand you.
The people whose opinions you trust.
The people who can put their own preferences aside long enough to see what YOU ARE SEEING.
And the people who understand that, for this one very special moment, all eyes, all ears, all the love, and yes, even all those opinions, should be FOCUSED ON YOU.
Because this is YOUR SHINING MOMENT.
AND YOU DESERVE TO HEAR YOUR OWN VOICE IN THE ROOM.
Love, Formally Yours